{"id":18467,"date":"2021-02-04T10:00:04","date_gmt":"2021-02-04T15:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.singlecare.com\/blog\/?p=18467"},"modified":"2021-02-02T12:57:07","modified_gmt":"2021-02-02T17:57:07","slug":"living-with-ocd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.singlecare.com\/blog\/living-with-ocd\/","title":{"rendered":"Controlling the uncontrollable: Living with OCD during a pandemic"},"content":{"rendered":"

Earlier last year, when the COVID-19 stay-at-home orders went into place, I started video chatting with my 8- and 10-year-old grandsons. Each week, they would take turns reading stories out loud. The youngest, reading picture books, would frequently stop to turn the book around and show me the pictures. It gave me a feeling of being there, together, through this.<\/span><\/p>\n

As someone with mild obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), these weekly calls served two purposes. It was an intimacy we didn\u2019t normally have time for because of my busy schedule. But even more, it allayed my irrational fears as I was able to <\/span>see<\/span><\/i> each of the boys and know that they were healthy and well during an uncertain time.<\/span><\/p>\n

During one of these calls, my daughter chimed in, commenting on how well I was facing the pandemic emotionally, \u201cMom, you were <\/span>made<\/span><\/i> for a pandemic!\u201d she joked. In a sense, she\u2019s correct. I\u2019ve worked from home for years. Unlike those who were suddenly thrust into the <\/span>foreign territory of working from home<\/span><\/a>, I had learned to put structures in place to help me stay on track when unmotivated, as well as to stop when overworking.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not much changed for me in that regard so the isolation and staying at home felt normal. As someone living with OCD, though, the lack of control a pandemic brings left me open for worsening symptoms. My compulsions aren\u2019t visible, but that doesn\u2019t make them any less painful. Rather than washing hands, or exhibiting other <\/span>visibly<\/span><\/i> repetitive behaviors, I have a tendency for counting in my mind and avoiding what I consider frightening situations\u2014and with that, come the obsessive thoughts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Understanding OCD<\/span><\/h2>\n

I have had obsessive inclinations as long as I can remember. I spent years worrying at night about my children, unable to sleep until I visualized each of them in a protective bubble. At the grocery store, I kept a running tally in my head of what I was spending on groceries. I thought I was doing it to make sure I stayed within a budget\u2014and that may have been how it started\u2014but it became a soothing technique to keep myself from feeling anxiety in public.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Along the way, a fear of driving on the highway turned into a phobia. I stopped doing it entirely and instead went out of my way to take only side roads. I obsessed about what <\/span>might<\/span><\/i> happen, such as a deer running in front of the car, a tire blowing out, or any number of possible\u2014yet uncontrollable\u2014events. The only way I felt I could overcome this obsessive thinking was to avoid driving on the highway at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Obsessions, and the subsequent self-soothing compulsions, are common. As many as 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children in the U.S. have OCD, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of American (<\/span>ADAA<\/span><\/a>). The obsessions include unwanted thoughts, images, and urges. These are followed by compulsions: behaviors a person feels a need to perform to ease the distress or anxiety caused by these thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anxieties intensify when people with OCD are unable to control their environments and the symptoms manifest in a myriad of ways, from handwashing to a need to organize cans in the grocery store, explains <\/span>Shana Feibel<\/span><\/a>, DO, staff psychiatrist at <\/span>Lindner Center of HOPE. But many people\u2019s obsessions and compulsions don\u2019t derail their daily life. \u201cA lot of people with OCD … spend time doing their rituals,\u201d Dr. Feibel says. \u201cThey get through their day and it doesn\u2019t impair their functioning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/b>OCD statistics<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n

Recognizing symptoms of OCD<\/span><\/h2>\n

I was functional and able to get through my days until a traumatic experience led me to realize I was more than \u201cjust\u201d obsessive. It started with a case of undiagnosed appendicitis that led to a ruptured appendix, seven days in the hospital, and surgery a month later. After I was released from the hospital, my obsessions increased and my soothing techniques weren\u2019t working. It was the first time I became conscious that my symptoms were excessive. I reached out to a therapist.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like me, not everyone with OCD is aware that their obsessions and compulsions are not the norm. It\u2019s only when they interfere with a daily routine that they become noticeable, a potential problem to seek treatment for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

According to the<\/span> National Institute of Mental Health<\/span><\/a>, common obsessions include:<\/span><\/p>\n