How to avoid caregiver burnout

It can be rewarding to help a loved one, but it can also be exhausting. Follow these tips to manage your own mental health

By Eileen Bailey | Updated on Mar. 23, 2022 Medically reviewed by Scott Dershowitz, LMSW, CMC

More than 65 million people (29% of Americans) provide unpaid care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aging family member or friend during any given year, according to the Caregiver Action Network. Most caregivers are women, many of whom work a full-time job in addition to providing ongoing home care for someone they love. While it can be rewarding to help a loved one, it can also be stressful, frustrating, and tiring. Without support, this exhaustion can lead to caregiver burnout.

What is caregiver burnout?

Caregiver burnout is a form of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that is caused by the cumulative and long-term stress of caregiving for a sick, disabled, or aging loved one. It can occur when you feel overwhelmed and believe you can’t meet the needs of the care recipient, according to the American Heart Association.

Risk factors for caregiver burnout

Other risk factors include:

Living with the person you are caring for
Social isolation
Financial difficulties or limited medical insurance coverage
Difficulty with problem-solving and coping skills
Lack of choice in being a caregiver
Ignoring your own physical, emotional, and medical needs
The number of hours devoted to caregiving each week

The higher the number of hours spent as a caregiver, the higher the risk. Caregiver burnout is commonly misunderstood as feeling overly tired or exhausted, but it is a much more all-encompassing fatigue that impacts multiple areas of life.

If any of these characteristics match up with your life, it’s even more important to take steps to protect yourself against burnout.

Symptoms of caregiver burnout

Although caregivers may have become accustomed to continually feeling tired and stressed, it’s important to keep an eye on the warning signs of burnout. They include:

Often feeling tired
Change of sleep patterns
Gaining or losing weight
Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
Feeling sad
Frequent headaches, bodily pain, or other physical health problems
Feelings of guilt, helplessness, or hopelessness
Anger, social withdrawal, and irritability
Abusive behavior, in extreme cases

Although similar, there is a difference between depression and caregiver burnout, according to Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and fellow with the American Psychotherapy Association.

“Caregiver burnout is associated and more likely due to poor self-care—it is foreseeable and preventable,” Dr. Wetter says. “It is a combination of symptoms that manifests from the body and mind being overtaxed. Once time has been given to ‘heal’ or ‘recover,’ a person can resume normal functioning. Depression is an illness that requires treatment. It can be attributed to either external or internal stimuli. Depression can take longer to address and is typically more severe in its presentation.”

Because caregiver burnout can affect many parts of your life, it is sometimes necessary to seek professional help. According to Dr. Wetter, you should reach out to a healthcare provider if you are experiencing any of the warning signs.

How to avoid caregiver burnout

As Dr. Wetter said, one of the leading causes of caregiver burnout is lack of self-care. When caregiving is constant, it can be hard to think about yourself. Try these tips to focus on yourself to avoid caregiver burnout:

Take 10 minutes each morning. This time can be used for stretching, meditating, enjoying a cup of coffee, or sitting quietly.
Create space for additional “me time.” Make a list of things you’d like to do that take about one to two hours—so that when you have time to yourself, you can take advantage of the break. Dr. Wetter suggests activities or hobbies you enjoy, but don’t directly associate with caregiving responsibilities, such as a massage, a spa day, going to a movie, going to a museum, reading a good book, or going out with friends.
Practice thankfulness. It might be hard to be grateful on days when you are exhausted and want to sit down for five minutes, but focusing on what is right can help combat stress.
Pay attention to your own health issues. Many caregivers skip doctor’s appointments, health screenings, and diagnostic tests because they take time away from their caregiver responsibilities.
Accept what you can’t control. Burnout can sometimes occur because you feel helpless. Make a list of the things you can control, such as eating a healthy meal or spending 10 minutes outdoors each day. Make a list of things you can’t control, such as your loved one’s health. Focus on the things you can control and work on accepting the things you cannot. Sometimes you simply cannot meet a loved one’s needs—and that’s okay. In these situations, you may need to turn to a home care agency, a skilled nursing facility, assisted living, etc.

If you are the sole or primary caregiver, the most important way to prevent burnout is to recruit others in your efforts. Create a list of ways that people can assist, such as food shopping, providing respite care, running errands, cooking a meal, or taking your relative to the doctor or out to eat. Reach out to friends and relatives to ask if they are willing to assist, even for an hour a week. People might be more willing to say yes to a specific request or to choose from several, than to a vague, “Can you help?”

If you don’t have friends or relatives who can provide respite (or even if you do), there are programs in your area that can provide short-term assistance to caregivers. Reach out to some of these organizations that can offer support:

How do you treat caregiver stress?

There isn’t a specific treatment for caregiver stress and burnout. The best way to combat it is to find ways to leave enough time in the day to focus on you, eat well-balanced meals, exercise, and get enough sleep. While this can be hard, there are steps you can take to minimize the physical and emotional toll caregiving places on you.

1. Work with a nutritional counselor

A professional can teach you how to create well-balanced meals that fit into your time and energy restraints. Health insurance sometimes covers nutritional counseling, so check with your provider first.

2. Join a local support group

Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to find out if there is a support group in your area. You can also check some online support groups. There are several Facebook caregiver support groups:

Talking to other people who are caregivers can relieve the feelings of loneliness and provide a much-needed connection with others. Support groups also give you a place to vent, share resources, and discuss problems as well as a place to share and learn coping skills.

3. Ask for help

Talk to friends and family and make specific requests for assistance. You might want someone to run errands or someone to sit with your loved one while you get out of the house. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. There are probably many people you know that would be willing to help but aren’t aware that you need it.

4. Incorporate exercise into your daily routine

Exercise has been shown to improve health, increase your overall sense of wellbeing, reduce stress, and enhance mood. Any exercise, such as walking, stair climbing, jogging, bicycling, yoga, gardening, or swimming, works. Carve out time each day to exercise. Although the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion suggests 150 minutes per week of exercise, you can feel the benefits with less. Five minutes of aerobic exercise can stimulate anti-anxiety effects, and a 10-minute walk might be just as good as a 45-minute one for relieving anxiety and depression symptoms according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

5. Learn stress reduction techniques

Talk to a healthcare professional or mental health professional about ways to reduce stress. Therapists can provide an unbiased, nonjudgmental person to talk about how you are feeling. They can also offer practical, stress-reducing exercises, such as deep breathing and meditation, that you can implement throughout your day to relieve stress. A mental health professional can determine if you are at risk of developing depression as a result of caregiver burnout and offer treatment options for the depression if needed.

“Caregiving, especially if you are caring for someone who once cared for you, brings complicated feelings,” says Heather Tuckman, Psy.D., a psychologist in private practice in West Chester, Pennsylvania. “People sometimes find it difficult to talk about their frustrations or resentment about caregiving because they feel it is a betrayal to the person receiving care…. A therapist is more than someone to vent to but becomes your partner in working through the complicated feelings that come with caregiving for a loved one.”

Finally, if you feel you might lash out in some way, it is best to remove yourself from the situation until you can get help managing the situation safely.