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Parenting teens with ADHD during a pandemic: How we found a new normal

My phone dinged. I had a pretty good idea what the text said before reading it. The message read, “Can you bring me my tennis equipment?” Prior to COVID-19, I received various texts like this from at least one of my twin teens about forgotten items left at home like school projects, lunches, or sports equipment. Multiply that times two and you will soon understand why I am on a first name basis with the guy in the school office who collects these things. My twins have a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) so forgetting things at home is a common occurrence. 

What is ADHD? 

According to the DSM-V, symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can include:

  • Inattention including being forgetful, losing things and disorganization
  • Hyperactivity including talking excessively, acting always on-the-go, and fidgeting
  • Impulsivity including difficulty waiting your turn and interrupting

In other words, forgetfulness is part of the condition. My kids lose things a lot, have trouble paying attention, and can be disorganized. I try to avoid going into their backpacks filled with random papers. After COVID-19 became an issue, my twins added a mask to their list of frequently forgotten or lost items. Before we leave the house I now say, “Do you have your mask?” to help remind them to bring it.

RELATED: ADHD statistics

Parenting teens with ADHD during the pandemic 

Being a parent to twin teens with ADHD can be challenging. So, when the pandemic forced all students to work remotely from home, I saw a silver lining. Not going anywhere meant fewer items lost and left behind. No more misplaced water bottles or Chromebooks. My kids like going to school so they were not as enthused as I was at the time. 

At first, I thought remote learning would be easier for them since it required less attention than sitting in a classroom for six hours per day. But they struggled with focus since they had many distractions in their room. They also found remote learning to be less engaging.

Schooling from home requires much more self-direction to stay on top of work, explains Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., a psychologist in West Chester, Pennsylvania, and author of Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The A.D.H.D. Executive Functions Workbook. “Teens with ADHD have especially struggled to stay connected to Zoom classes that are much less dynamic than in-person teaching,” he says.

My kids had a hard time with the lack of structure and routine. The remote learning was more assignments that could be completed at any time rather than scheduled classes.

Another aspect they had difficulty with was the lack of support. In school they could ask questions when they missed some of the instructions or ask after class. But they did not have as many opportunities to get the extra support they needed. 

A lot of the remote learning relied on email communication. If you were to open either one of my kids’ email accounts, you would see more than 100 unread emails. They were not able to keep up with reading all the email messages, which became overwhelming for them.

After I intervened and communicated some of their struggles with their teachers, we were able to figure out some solutions that worked. One was to have weekly FaceTime calls where they could check in and ask questions or figure out what work was missing.

 Another was to create a distraction-free setting when they were doing schoolwork during the day. And probably the most important intervention was creating a schedule similar to the school day to help maintain routines.

Damon Korb, MD, a developmental behavioral pediatrician in Los Gatos, California, and author of Raising an Organized Child, suggests that students with ADHD can learn to improve their attention span by timing their focus. “If they have a 60 minute class and a 10 minute attention span, they can set a timer and take a 30-60 second break every 10 minutes. They may miss information during this mental break, but it is better than daydreaming throughout the class,” he says.

During this break they can meditate or take some deep breaths to help them relax. If possible it is also helpful to incorporate some movement by walking. As a family we went on daily outdoor walks around the neighborhood to take a break and get some fresh air. These techniques double as natural treatments for ADHD.

The new normal 

At the start of this school year in September my twin teens began hybrid learning. This type of learning is when they go to school in-person for two days and then they have remote learning three days a week. The remote learning that started in September was much different than in the spring of last year. Currently, they follow along remotely with the in-person classes. This helps them to maintain structure and routine that teens with ADHD need. They seem happier and more organized than they were in the spring. Plus, the in-person learning gives them a chance to see their friends who they miss socializing with during the remote learning. 

 My kids still sometimes forget things at home, but they have learned techniques to help them remember so that most of the time I do not receive text messages about forgotten items. I wonder if the guy in the school office still remembers me.

If you see signs of ADHD in children such as distraction, disorganization or fidgeting, you can schedule a visit with your pediatrician to receive a diagnosis. Treatment for ADHD may include prescribed medication, counseling or an accommodation plan like a 504 for their school or workplace.